by Jessica
Yesterday Jeremy and I were worshiping at a church without our girls (we were out of state for the weekend) and while the worship time was great and the message was really great (you’ll hear more about that one later, it reminded me again of wanting to blog on worship in the face of pain- I got back to work on that on the plane coming home last night but it’s going to have to wait as it’s turning into a whole message or article) there were two other things I noticed about the gathering. One was obvious, the lack of our children and the strange feeling that gave me and the other was the row in front of us. There, in the row in front of us yesterday morning we saw something very special. I don’t know if the people realized they were living out Christ’s commands to let the little children come to Him but they were. A young child was in this row and here’s the cool part: I couldn’t tell you who his mother or father was. Everyone around took part in involving that child in the worship. The thing that stood out to me was that the parents were not alone and, I learned latter, while the grandparents were there as well there were people helping that had not blood relation to the child. In helping with the child in the worship gathering the people in the church sent a strong message to those parents and even to me: we value you and your children as God does and though we may not be family we are in Christ and we’re in this together. You should know, it wasn’t distracting, I don’t know if anyone else even noticed maybe because this is just what they do and it’s a part of the culture there or because it really wasn’t distracting and I was given a glimpse into this beautiful picture because it’s been a subject near to my heart lately.
Our very good friends, Tom and Laura understand this. This couple love God, love to worship, love to study His Word and love children and want to help teach them to do the same. They have exemplified in so many ways what this can look like and in doing so have taught Jeremy and I a lot about love. Laura is a 1-3 grade Montessori teacher and understands the way children learn (I often call her for advice!) and has this unbelievable nack of getting a child to quietly interact in a way that suits their learning without being too much of a distraction to those around them. The gentleness and patience this couple shows toward children (our children have often sat with them when Jeremy and I were leading worship- and usually they’d rather stay with Tom and Laura during the message because of their understanding of how to involve children) helps the parents and children not only feel valued but encourages them to connect with God as a family. Tom and Laura are older than Jeremy and I, their children grown, are grandparents 3 times over,and yet they haven’t stopped teaching, loving and being involved in the lives of children in the church. They don’t teach children’s Sunday School and they don’t volunteer in the nursery, they model behavior of living worship and teach children and the parents of children to do the same. The older teaching the younger. The family of God being the family of God. I believe this is very much what Christ wants to see.
Sadly, this isn’t always the case. I know parents that have given up going to church because this isn’t demonstrated. I’ve heard everything: they can’t bear the looks of others towards them and their “unruly” children (oddly enough, the rest of the week they seem like OK kids), they can’t stop their children from being kids, they don’t get anything out of the gathering times anyway and neither do their kids or anyone else around them, because every time they put their child in the nursery they get sick, because the child screams when being left for Sunday School, because they don’t have enough time as a family as it is and church feels like anything but time together as a family, because the service times conflict with nap time and no matter what, their child is going to have a tough time, because they just don’t have the energy to do it any more, and because they feel all alone. The parents that do stick it out, specially the single ones, are amazing, yes, (and probably from a very churched background) but how long do we say that parents have had to struggle with this for years and have managed, why can’t they? We are willing to re-evaluate our worship styles, our teaching styles, our small group ministries, and so much more including how to make the children’s programs cool but we aren’t willing to say “this isn’t good enough?” Churches all over love to say that they want to be a “New Testament Church” or modeled after the “Early Church” but not much has been done to understand how that would effect the way we minister and involve our children. I seriously doubt that in the days of secret church meetings children were sent into another part of the catacombs or house during the time of gathering together- parents couldn’t take that risk. (I have no proof of this and haven't studied it at all it's really just a hunch based on what little I do know about families in that time and the culture of the early church- I'll have to do more research.) So what would this look like and how can we apply it to today or should we even? It seems most of us agree that the Easter Morning breakfast isn’t the right tool to teach service (THANK YOU!) but what about worship? The question about appropriate age is a struggle. Personally, I have a problem with saying that my child needs to be able to sit still long enough first- if that’s the case, she’ll know her ABC’s before she’s really learned anything about God and worshiping Him with God’s people. I really would hate for my child to have a closer relationship with Barney, Big Bird, and Bob the Tomato than with Christ because they’re not old enough for Him yet.
By the way, I didn't just miss our girls yesterday, I missed worshiping with them.
